Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
