Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
