Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
