Well douche your snatch and let's go!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
