The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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