i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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