This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Drunk is not a location!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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