had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
pray to the hookup gods
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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