Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize