It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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