I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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