You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
