I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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