I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
