OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
