I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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