So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
