Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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