I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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