she woke up with a sticky ear
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
