We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
