he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
