i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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