We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
