she looked like the before picture.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
