did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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