Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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