My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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