Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
