none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
