saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
