i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize