it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
