trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
