Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
