Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
