The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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