once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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