we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
