And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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