Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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