no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
