I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
