It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
