I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize