He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize