We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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