i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize