it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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