thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
