The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
