you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
