if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
