In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
