"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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