You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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