i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
