normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize