She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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