You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you had me at cake vodka
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
