Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
