you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
