Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
