Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
