Dual....:-)
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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