Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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